Dealing with Fake People.

Well, we all know the kind of world we live in. We meet fake people all the time, it could be at school, workplace, family & some could be our ‘friends’.

Who do you consider as a fake person?

Personally, i think I’d say someone who isn’t genuine about his/her intentions. Basically, your words and actions don’t match your feelings/intentions.

For instance, you’re being all nice to a certain person but deep inside, you wish the worst on them. Or you talk bad about someone and when he/she comes, all of a sudden you want to be sweet. That means you’re not genuine about your feelings/intentions and you’re hypocritical. If you’re this kind of a person, you better change because no one wants to befriend or be around someone like you. Sorry not sorry🤷🏽‍♀️

How can i spot a fake person?

-First of all, I don’t know about you but my gut instincts never fail me. I kid you not, sometimes i meet someone for the first time & i can tell what kind of a person they are. I just get this weird feeling that sends me negative signals if the person isn’t someone I’d like to befriend. Sounds crazy i know but if you’re like me, then you know what I’m talking about. Inshort, trust your gut instincts.

They’ll bad mouth their friends or anyone you thought they were close to and when that person shows up, they’ll quickly wear a mask and act all nice & sweet.

-These people aren’t the same on social media and in real life. Sometimes, they will compliment you on social media and drop lovely compliments and in real life they talk shit. I don’t understand how you can’t keep the same energy you have behind the screen. If the love you’re showing me isn’t genuine, then I don’t want it. You don’t like me? Just keep on scrolling and save yourself the energy/time. I believe it takes alot to be two different people in one body.

-They take advantage of you and take you for granted. They will stomp all over you because to them, if someone is being kind without a little bit of fakeness, then they’re weak. Learn to say ‘No’ it doesn’t make you unkind or a bad person. You need to set boundaries!

-They are people pleasers. They want to appear perfect in the eyes of eyes. I won’t go into details in this but i have a post about ‘Pleasing others so here’s the link if you haven’t seen it before. https://missfahma.wordpress.com/2018/03/28/stop-pleasing-others/

-They are never around when you need them yet, they want you to be there every time they need you.

-They are competitors. To them, everything is a competition because they never want to see someone else shine. They’ll do whatever it takes to dim your light so they can outshine you.

-They are attention seekers. They are always talking/posting on social media how everyone leaves them at the end. But their intention is to make new friends through this process. They say or do dramatic things to get responses from others or find someone to sympathize & feel bad for them.

Lastly, nothing is safe to share with them. Whatever information you trust them with will either be used against you or will be spread around everywhere. They’re not as trustworthy as they seem to be when getting that information.

How do i get rid of a fake person?

-Avoid them or cut them off. I’d rather be friendless and lonely than being associated with fake people and their bad intentions.

-Some people are too nice, if you’re one of those that can’t ignore their existence to avoid them then keep your interactions short. For instance, if you meet at an event or a social gathering, don’t be over friendly. If they are smart enough, they will understand that you’re trying to avoid them.

I’ll end with my favourite quote when it comes to fake people;

“You got nothing to lose. You don’t lose when you lose fake friends.”

Joan jett

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, if you enjoyed reading it & found it beneficial please like, comment what you think & share it with others.

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Peace of Mind

Peace of mind is essential for us all.

What does it mean to have a ‘Peace of mind’?

Peace of mind is a state of mental and emotional calmness, Happiness and no worries. This is honestly something we lack at one point of our lives. I don’t think there’s someone out there who can say, they’ve had peace of mind all their life. Why? Because life is never that easy. You’ll be happy for a while & lose it for sometime. you’ll lose your emotional & mental stability. Well, in some communities its considered as a taboo to talk about this kind of stuff with your family. You’re asked what you’re lacking & you just can’t put it in words! At that moment, you’ll try to look at what you have but its like you’re not satisfied with them, you’re yearning for the things you don’t have.

I personally get to worry & overthink the slightest things. I become emotionally unstable & distance myself from the ones i love the most. And to top it off, i hate expressing myself, I literally can’t put my emotions & feelings in words. Its like you need to win this battle all alone, no one else understands you! So, you might as well get yourself together & distance yourself from the world to find who you are and what exactly is causing this.

I know you’re wondering, how are you complaining about not being happy when you distance yourself from your loved ones?

Let me tell you, Happiness comes from within. Your friends, family & the environment you live in can increase your happiness but that’s not the part you’re lacking. That’s not the void that needs to be filled.

I’ll share a few things that help me get back my ‘Peace of Mind’

1- SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX

Taking sometime off social media is good for your health. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but have you ever gone through something & while scrolling down your feeds you find a post you can relate to at that exact moment?

You’ll also tend to compare yourself to others. Do you know what they’ve gone through to get it? Do you know if that brings them happiness or not? Do you know the things they’re lacking & how they’d give up on that thing you’re looking at just to get what you have? If you’re someone who compares yourself to others, You need a social media detox.

2- GRATITUDE

In life, one of the most important things is gratitude. The deep feeling of appreciation and thankfulness for what you have rather than what you lack. There are so many things that we take for granted & never thought that one day, they can be taken away from us.

Shift from a negative state of mind to a positive one by recounting all of the things that you have to be grateful for. Remember nothing in life is promised.

3- NEGATIVE PEOPLE

Being surrounded by negative people can decrease your peace of mind. How? These people can change the way you see your life & the lives around you.

-They’ll discourage you more than they encourage you & nothing you do is ever good enough.

-They’ll put you down & never want to see you win.

-They’re always pessimistic & never want to see the good in every situation.

-They always claim to be victims even if you’re the one who’s been hurt till you start believe in that too & blame yourself for it.

-They’re always jealous of what you have & because they can’t take it away from you, they’ll drag you emotionally & treat you bad for having what they do not have.

-They will use you for emotional or financial support & when it’s time you need them the most, you have no one around you.

Do you have such people in your life? Let them go & Don’t hold on to them. Your Mental & Emotional Health is more important. You’ll find people who’ll appreciate you for who you are & support you. You’re so much better without them!

4- PRAYER

Prayer & the remembrance of your Lord can boost your peace of mind. Allah says in the Quran, “verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest” (Quran 13:28)

So it is only by the remembrance of God that hearts find rest.

If we change ourselves for the better then God will change the world around us and give us the means to deal with every hardship. Be thankful to him for all that you have.

5- PATIENCE

Sometimes what we want doesn’t happen when or how we want it to happen. Trust the process & be patient for God knows when it is the right time. One of my favourite quotes is,

“No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying (anxiety) can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s (God’s) decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee.” – Umar ibn al-Khattab

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May God grant us all a peace of mind & remove everything & everyone that disturbs our mental, emotional, Spiritual & physical health.✨

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I hope it was beneficial! Like, Comment what you think & share it with your friends.

STOP PLEASING OTHERS

Have you ever thought of changing because someone didn’t like who you are?

I just want to let you know that not everyone will like you. Not everyone will appreciate you. The biggest mistake you can ever do is to Change who you are as a person just to please someone else. Remember no matter how much you try pleasing them, they’ll always find fault in who you are.

Pleasing others can cause anxiety. If you are a people-pleaser, you’ll constantly worry about what others will think or say about you.

You’ll always feel guilt & blame yourself when people leave you thinking you did not please them enough. Constantly worrying if others will approve your decisions or whatever you’re about to do.

Now, ask yourself this “Do you really deserve this? How long will you have to be this way?”

Are you willing to change this but don’t know how? I’d advice you to first:

-Get rid of anyone who makes you feel guilt for who you are. If they can’t accept you, let them go!

-Learn to say ‘NO’. Don’t do something you don’t like because of others.

-Put yourself first before anyone else.

-Keep in mind that Your self-worth doesn’t depend on the approval of others.

-Set and Maintain boundaries that no one should cross.

Remember you can start practicing it today. Its never too late to be YOURSELF.

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I wish you all a Positive life filled with Good vibes & happy moments.

Self-Love.❤️

What is Self-love? 

Self love is a state of mind. it isn’t something that comes overnight. It’s long journey that requires patience.

You cannot love yourself just because you were told to do so, it comes from within. Personally, I have realized that your life is incomplete without ‘Self love’. No matter how much people love you, they’ll never fill the hole inside you that lacks self love.

How can I love myself?

People have different stories on how  they achieved self love. First of all, you need to accept all your imperfections & flaws. This will have a huge impact on the process. Stop thinking you’re ugly. Stop focusing on your physical imperfections. No one is perfect. Your flaws and imperfections do not define you. No one who truly loves you, will focus on them. Believe me.

Self love is in three chapters. The first chapter is Acceptance. Second one is Believing yourself  & the last one is Training your mind to see the good in you. Once you achieve these three chapters, you’re there. 

Accept your flaws. Believe in yourself and know that You can do anything you want. Focus only on the positive, see the good in you. If you focus on the negative, you’ll lose thousands of things you’d love about yourself.

 Stop comparing yourself to anyone! You’re beautiful in your own ways. Pamper yourself & shower with love. It’s never too late, Start practicing it Today.
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P.s: This is my first blog, let me know what you think.💕